What Did I Do?


It’s wet.
It burns.
I run.
I’m shot again.
I… run…
can’t…
on my back…
twitching…
What… did I… do?

I watch as it writhes.
I watch as the spider writhes.
I just can’t help but watch.
I’m causing this pain.
It’s fighting for its life.
I’m causing this pain.
I then think about the pain I’m in.
I then think about the pain that I caused.
Am now causing.

It’s writhing…
I’m hoping it will win…
I want it to win…
It didn’t deserve that!
The poor thing…

Just like I didn’t deserve my pain…
I didn’t do anything wrong!
The spider didn’t do anything wrong!
And I can’t even apologize!
It probably wouldn’t even hear me!
It’s burning!

Is that what’s going to happen to me?
Am I going to receive the apology I am hoping for on my deathbed?
When I die?
When it won’t even matter, when I can’t even hear it?

Are those who hurt me going to feel my pain of being unable to apologize?
Are they never going to feel release?
Just like me?
Are they to feel my pain?

My pain…
It’s writhing…
It’s in so much pain…
I didn’t deserve that…
We didn’t deserve that…
It didn’t deserve that…

What… did I… do?

I’m so sorry…

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