What Happens Now?

Do I stay or do I go?

How the hell am I supposed to know,

What is right and what I want,

There’s too much commotion and too much daunt.

I’m such a coward, I feel so weak,

Nothing has ever broken me so deep.

I cannot think, I can barely breathe,

All these battles taking tolls on me.

They pick away one piece at a time,

They’re close to getting all of what was mine,

My courage, my faith, my love, and my care,

How do I even continue this prayer?

I speak out loud to hear my voice shrivel,

Yet still it feels like I speak of a drivel,

Like it doesn’t matter, anything I say,

Nothing is right in the time of this day.

It’s all so wrong and breaks me deep inside,

It’s the hardest I’ve ever felt myself die,

That’s how it is, I just feel dead,

Might as well be, since I’m losing my head.

Which way is up, where have I gone?

I just want to come back to where I belong,

To a place where I know everything that is happening,

Why is it so hard to stop all this rambling,

I keep saying words and nothing makes sense,

Just let me go free so the new can commence.

I need this fresh start, I still don’t know what to do,

I’m so afraid to leave what involves me and you,

You are who I love, the one I truly care for,

So why is this so hard to find the right answer?

I’m sorry that I can’t seem to make up my mind,

I wish it’d be as easy as the dark was to blind,

But it’s much more complex than just counting to three,

We’re one in the same in the leaves of this tree,

But look at all the others, sitting there with joy,

They all just sit with a refusal to destroy,

All the good that comes right their way,

Because all they have to do is look nice and sway.

Sway in the wind, I wish it was so easy,

To just sit there, look pretty, and breathe like the wheezy,

A calming sound that comes from being wise,

Like the leaf that never allows itself these cries,

So let’s buck up and let’s buckle down,

There’s no time to waste acting like a clown,

Just take a deep breath like you always knew you could,

And stop worrying about the outcome of what should.

I should do this and you shouldn’t do that,

No one can tell you where your life should be at,

At this point in time, there’s so much to still see,

Make time for what you really want to be.

Wherever it takes you, that’s where you should go,

You are the only one who can truly know.

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