what it takes.

It takes a heart beat
to wake up again
in a hospital bed
and recall your life
that just flashed
before your eyes.

It takes a heartbeat
even just to feel numb
and stare
at your pale faced family
because you believed
your mind's lies.

It takes a heartbeat
to feel goosebumps
crawling up your skin
up to your ears
and down your back
as you imagine
if you would have really died.

It takes a heart beat
to pull a trigger.

It takes a heart beat
to stand back up.

It takes a heart beat
to turn it all around
and walk away.

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WARNING: THIS POEM CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT THAT MAY BE DISTURBING TO OTHERS. This poem is from the absolute darkest seemingly rock-bottom pit in my life. It is in no way encouraging suicide, or suggesting substance abuse, etc. If any readers are relating to this poem or have any thoughts of suicide or self harm OR if you know a friend or anyone at all who feels this way, please call 1-800-273-8255. My intended purpose for this poem is to warn others of how serious this issue is as I went through it at a time. I felt that my family was neglecting the situation which only drove me farther. So please, please pay close attention to your loved ones actions, expressions, and LISTEN to them when they call out. Nothing is more important. Thank you.