What My First Time Falling Felt Like
I was about four, if I can remember correctly.
It was so painful, and I thought that would be the worst pain I'd ever feel in my life.
There was asphalt stuck in my palms, my chin and knees were scraped. But I laughed about it, despite it all hurting and dramatizing my agony for a whole five minutes, in the end it was all taken care of with a kiss on the crown of my head and bandaids being stuck on parts of my body that never met the ground and feeling brand new the next day.
My first time falling,
It was little over a year ago. Sure I had boyfriends and girlfriends that I said,"I love you," to, but I knew deep down I never meant it, at least not until I met her. It all happened so slowly and suddenly, it was like the air in my lungs was being taken but given back just as quickly. It felt so good to just fall safely, it felt good until i noticed it felt like a routine for her. I noticed and I built up the glass walls again, but I built them so high that I forgot I had let her in, it didn't matter though, she somehow found her way out. Oddly enough, I was able to splinter my own heart, because who am I to hurt someone's heart with a drive and purpose?
I couldn't feel anymore.
I had no love to give.
Falling in love was the most beautifully horrific thing to ever happen to me, but I became numb to her routine. I guess I'll just give my ring when I stop being so self destructive