What Troubles You?

I'm waiting on another diagnosis,
a way to be freed from this psychosis.
Maybe it's all in my head like Dr.Give A.Fuck said;
but if this is so unreal, why do I feel so dead?
I feel fucking possessed.
Controlled by many demons,
leaving me a wreck.
All I do is run with a troubled chest,
afraid to face the world.
My brain just won't uncoil,
I'm so damn tangled in this mess.
Will i ever feel normal again?
All I do is pretend,
that I am fine,
fighting explosions in my mind.
Tears of fear, anger within my eyes.
Waiting on the disease to flat-line.
I feel so fucking lost and terrified,
since the night I died inside.
I will not speak of it.
Does this make me embarrassed or careless
to welcome the reality
of how his poison ruined me.
I have a decision to make
before I become worse.
I just cant find the words
to be freed from this entrapment curse.
My lips are pursed together.
I write to become better.

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