What was Love?

I thought I loved somebody once
she was beautiful to behold
she meant the entire world to me
worth more to me than gold

But after awhile she rejected me
and my love it soon turned into hate
she took my happiness away from me
and my anger I could not abate

Said terrible things out of spite
just to try and hurt her
but it only hurt me in the end
deep down it was me who was injured

But after awhile of being apart
and alone with only my thoughts
I spent some time wondering about love
and wondering what it was not

Love is something you give to another
without expectations of it in return
Was love not what I felt for her?
was the question now that burned

What did I do, but say the words
and have possessive feelings
and once she left to find another
only hatred I was giving

It wasn't love I felt for her
but the pleasures of not being alone
to have someone to spend time with
and see when you got home

And when that pleasure went away
only fear and anxiety remained
for I knew the feeling of being alone
didn't want to lose what I had gained

The feelings of the loss consumed me
I constantly yearned for the person I lost
to be in the company of someone that likes you
I'd pay whatever the cost

It really is pathetic
to not want to be alone
to beg the person back who rejected you
and wait for a text back on your phone

But with time the feelings I felt had diminished
And I discovered a truth for myself
That loving another comes second
to having first loved yourself

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