When I’m Old

When I'm old, I'll buy sensible shoes
And stop wearing eyeshadow of various hues.
I'll tone down the lipstick, stop dying my hair,
And sit quietly knitting in a high-backed chair,
When I'm old!

When the weather is hot I'll sit in the shade,
Decline gin and tonic and drink lemonade.
I won't wear stilettos,tee shirts and jeans,
And I'll collect teapots and cat figurines,
When I'm old!

I'll eat fish and chips and scorn foreign food,
I won't laugh at jokes that are risqué or rude.
If there's sex on the telly I'll primly eschew it,
And play Daniel O'Donnell instead of Rod Stewart,
When I'm old!

I'll shun social media, become silently wary,
Find modern technology simply too scary,
I'll reserve my opinion on world politics,
But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while,
I'm only seventy-six!

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