Where Your Dead Ones Are
Grief is a game misunderstood and thereâ€™s only been one winner. It begins at once in a brilliant spring and dies at the close of winter. Itâ€™s a game weâ€™ve played since time began butâ€¦ when did time begin? What does that even matter now? You donâ€™t care when time began. Nor when time will end. You only care about what you have and what youâ€™ve lost, so letâ€™s speak about what is gone. Share with me a thought-filled moment and blink your budding tears away. Wipe the sorrow from your soul and weâ€™ll finish this grieving game. You canâ€™t find 3 if you canâ€™t find 2. So letâ€™s begin and search for 1. You were born and lived a happy life, but suddenly you lost your wife. Or you gave your life for love and found that love didnâ€™t want your life. Or your child passed away. Or your mother is in her grave. Or your entire city has been destroyed or terror reigns or your career is void or friends are dead or dying. Or youâ€™re sitting alone and crying. Grief is one and all the same, itâ€™s that forever lasting game. But listen, please, to Lewisâ€™s words: â€œIf I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow cameâ€¦â€ You see, he played the grieving game. He knew what you know and what I know and what they all also know: weâ€™re selfish in our sorrow. You only steal and borrow. Where is strength within yourself? Maybe it was in him or her or them. Should you continue to cry or give up and die? Or could you sit up and smile? Letâ€™s listen to another voice and then maybe youâ€™ll make your choice: â€œHe stood by her final bed. Heâ€™d already said goodbye and now he sat silently by her side, his hand in hers. She knew his love he knew hers. He had already petitioned her forgiveness. She had given him her heart. Never before had he seen such courage and he never would again. She left this world in a world of pain and in the middle of the night. He had been asleep. Had he been awake he might have heard her final plea: Forget me and remember them. They are my heart now. So look to them and then youâ€™ll see; there is where Iâ€™ll be.â€ Now quit your sullen simpering, your swollen cries and whimpering. Stop the tears before they fall or at least catch them before they hit the ground. Trust in me, please, and in my thoughts I know something to be true: The ones youâ€™ve lost are here and there and their happy where they are. They see you suffer. They see you cry. And they are most certainly wondering why. Itâ€™s sad, yes, to be apart but itâ€™s only for a moment. The day you met you said hello; the day they died you said goodbye. One day youâ€™ll say hello again, never again to say goodbye.