Who I Am

I am not the same person that I was before.
I no longer hide my scars.
I do not paint on a happy smile anymore.

The person I once was is no longer me.
I no longer hide behind a mask.
I took it off in order to see.

Who is this person which I have now become?
This person is everything I hated
And everything I ran from.

I no longer know myself or know who to trust.
Everyone that I held onto I let go of.
The gold I once lined them in turned into rust.

I used to be a romantic; believing my Prince Charming would come and sweep me off my feet.
I found many toads who showed me love is a game
and that they all cheat.

I used to be so kind and thought that others were the same.
So naive,
not knowing it was all a big game.

I used to give and give until I had nothing left to take.
Nobody gave back.
They left me to struggle without anything except for heartache.

I used to hold out my hand for those in need.
I would open my doors and my heart easily.
I wasn't afraid until they suffocated me with their greed.

I am no longer the same inside as I used to be.
My face may still look the same
but, inside I grew stronger and something changed inside of me.

I remember being so willing to catch people as soon as they fell.
But, when I began to fall nobody caught me.
I kept falling farther n farther into a lifetime of hell.

The smile I once wore began to fade away.
The bruises began to show
and the scars never go away.

The demons I run from never leave my side.
I no longer have the strength to keep running
or the patients to hide.

I covered my imperfections which I thought I needed to hide.
I gave up who I was hoping to be wanted
as I kept dying inside.

I tried to be perfect so that they would love me.
I lined myself in plastic.
Punishing myself when I couldn't be.

I fell down and began to bleed.
Covered in scrapes n bruises.
I never gave up yet never could succeed.

I don't know when it happened or when that person finally died.
All I know is that person has vanished
Killed by all the knives in my back from all the times they all lied.

Everything I hated and everything I said I'd never be is who I have become.
Everything I once felt betrayed me.
Everything I once knew had made me feel dumb.

Everyone I loved became strangers until I was left all alone.
One day I looked at my reflection in shock.
I saw how bitter I had grown.

I saw the fear I used to hide and all the flaws I used to conceal.
All my scars were uncovered and my masks were broken.
I saw only one thing left and it was the only thing which was real.

I saw myself for the first time, the person I became.
This person is far from perfect.
But, is not a stranger to the game.

This person isn't bad and this person isn't good.
This person is just real,
The way that other people should.

This person doesn't care what other people think or say.
I spent too many years trying to please everyone,
And got nothing that way.

I am no longer the person I used to be before.
I no longer try to hide my flaws.
I refuse to play your game so, quit keeping score.

Take me or leave me, it's up to you.
What you see is what you get.
I may not be perfect but, I am true

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