Windows

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~Windows~
My life was like looking through a window made of scratched,weathered and worn plexiglass.... Shaded with tinfoil and broken blinds.... The window was stuck shut, the air I was breathing was heavy and stagnant .... I was surrounded by dark shadows of impending doom, crippling fear, and a deep sense of shame ..... My body encased in chain linked scars created by me, they tied me down... making me comfortable in my own self-created numbness.... Unable to connect with a God that I thought had long ago given up on me...... I felt broken ,taddered , lost, and forgotten ,laying obliviously atop ash heeps of regret...... The first sound of Hope came from someone who had felt this way before,and had found a new way to live..... She spoke of a new perspective ..... Like minded people, a promise of freedom from active addiction.... She spoke of a Higher Power that loved her and had never gave up on her, she spoke of Twelve steps .... A road map to a new way of life.... I made a decision to Listen .... and to do these things she spoke of...... And In doing so, ive recieved so much more than the promise...... I now have new windows, clean and clear.....I've discarded the broken blinds and tin foil, shadowing the beautiful view from outside....make no mistake, they are double pained, life still delivers dust,rainstorms, and weather onto my new windows, but Recovery helps me wash them clean..... They slide open with ease, Letting my Higher Power breathe fresh life air Into the now brightened room,no longer filled with heavy stagnant air of misery and discontent.... But I have to open these beautiful new windows..... They have decadent drapes hanging around them, and I also have choices to close them and shut out the sunlight of the Spirit, or open them wide , allowing the fresh air and light to come in....... My hope for the addict still suffering.... Allow yourself to listen to suggestions, allow yourself new windows....The sunlight of Recovery allows me to heal..... I'm no longer tyed down by the chain linked scars.... I use them to hold the attention of the addict still struggling,thinking no one is like them.... I'm like you!!!!! Only now ...... I'm Free

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