Now I know you hate poetry
Trust me I know it all
I know you can only get dressed if you have your socks on first
I know how you only eat macaroni with a pound of ketchup on top
I know how you felt when your mom left.
I know why you confused a bottle for a hug; and pills for a family.
But what I know the most is how much I miss your warmth.
How your smile would emerge from a sea of broken glass
and shattered bones.
How I could curl inside the kindness of your heart.
How the touch of your fingertips on my arm felt like a daydream
But then, I remember who you became.
Because your smile started shifting into quiet knife
And the loops of your handwriting started feeling more like a noose
How being around you, near you, hurt.
And trust me this wasn't easy
Believe me my cupboards are still littered
with your favorite kind of crackers
And when I'm making macaroni I still reach for the ketchup
But you my darling are a thorn bush to my baby soft skin;
and it's time for me to say goodbye.
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