You left me…

I feel alone, nowhere to go
i still think of what happened in the past
it’s so dramatic that it will leave you sad
you would understand this feeling when you don’t have a father figure
the way i feel is something much bigger
you knocked off my crown when you left me
it’s like you shut me out and threw away the key
i really cried and plead for your attention
i was on my knees and my mom said i was a blessing
but why do i feel this way?
i still don’t know why you did what you did to this day
am i not good enough?
each day i have to be tough
my family is going through it
i got to cut and say screw it
what is life?
the only thing that makes it feel better is with a knife
i cut till i feel numb
then cry when its all done
i feel useless
i feel like it’s my fault
was i even a thought ?
why don’t you want me?
i feel so ugly
all these unanswered questions
naw i’m asking am i really a blessing?
god why you put me on earth to deal with this ?
i never had that daddy/daughter bond
am i not good enough?
my heart is shattered but i’m taught to brush it off
you went to a different family
in my head i’m like can’t be
why you chose them over me?
i just don’t understand
each day i have to be strong for my younger siblings
i have to hide my feelings
i had to learn to make my own crown
i’ve prayed and fell like god had let me down
why do i even bother to stick around
i’m ready to end it
maybe i should stop eating and let my heart stop beating
but what happens when i’m gone?
my mom and siblings will be all alone
then they’ll be the the ones with nowhere to go
god show me a sign
he told me to be kind and forgive
so here it goes i forgive but i won’t forget
god and my family are now by my side
my friends are real ride or dies
i’m not alone
i promise my kid won’t grow up and flee
they would be taught how to take care of responsibilities

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