the boy i fell for: we were warm nights and young lovers, we were sunrises and smoke filled lungs. when we were together my heart sang the most beautiful sounds of passion and wholeness. he loved me, i loved him such a simple love. he was the sun creeping in under the shades in my window, he was my home, my place where i felt most safe. sand in our hair, eyes in the starry sky pointing, “look at the moon”, the big dipper like a familiar friend. in his eyes were galaxies swirled by hazel, green, and browns looking into my eyes as the words i love you formed on his sweet, sweet lips. i was a half and he was my whole, he was the sun and i was the rain, but then he left. he left the night the moon was full, when the sky was as clear as water. he left me alone with little explanation. he said he needed to "find myself" and california had more promise than i did. i was a loose end, with the string all tangled in a mess. he left me 9 months ago and i still feel his absence in my soul. even if he never comes back, there will always be a special place in my heart just for him, my first love.