I've come to the painful realization
that I will be depressed forever
And there is nothing I can do but breathe
Breathe in all the sorrows that surround me
And permit them to know my name
My heart will know joy in the most majestic of moments
But it will be fleeting... Still.
I will not know what it should feel like to be whole
(Although I'm sure I once was)
I will not remember bliss in its existence,
But I will understand art and film and music in their relevance
So immensely, more immensely than normal people would
Hence I will allow my eyes to see as much color,
My ears as much sound,
My mind as much knowledge to consume not from the books
But from charcoal sketches of people and songs about love,
And poetry written for the broken like me.
And in not too long, I will fall in love
The kind of love that hits hard and is given without reluctance
I will love so hard that not even the softest of clouds,
Or gentlest of winds, or most tender of voices
Like my mother's saying,
'you still make me proud in spite of your mistakes'
can shield me from the fallout.
I will be depressed forever, but I will learn how to live
With the grace of an angel, not one that is fallen
But one with the wisdom that sadness
Will not ever overcome whatever it is that is good
(Because God did not create dark without light)
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