cycles

I never knew such a small package could contain so much influence
It took me by surprise your impact was immense
Your face, the way you looked at me,
Your lips pronouncing every word, so hypnotizing
Surreal flooded reality, I'm trippin, she would never go out with me.
undoubtedly I found ground to stand in your presence,
with you present I was grounded in seconds
never thought I would feel that way again,
didn't know what to say sittin with your head under my chin
it felt like world would melt away when you wrapped your legs and arms around me,
now I'm full of hate once again, a walking zombie
shell of myself I don't recognize me.

I can't love that empty space next me when I wake up
so why wake up?
or should I lay awake tormented by the scent of your essense still left in our bed?
I should not have transgressed
I should not have let my own insanity manhandle the man in me,
I single handedly abandoned the only thing that didn't sadden me
self saboteur, I took you away myself
sub-conscious masochism is the architect of my own hell

You were a blessing to a damned life of solitude
I took for granted what was granted and lost all of you
how the fuck did let myself follow through
I can't even picture myself ever saying the things I said to you
and now everything seems so unimportant
as if I am seeing the same image on a different portrait
Can I just forget this morbid feeling in my heart and gut?
I haven't felt at ease since you left its been hard enough-
to focus on the little things
the show goes on but I am laying on the stage like a muppet without its puppet strings

Whatever this period of my life manifests
I want to return it to sender they got the wrong address
as hard as it is to confess, my actions hid my truest feelings
and made me digress, I would have loss less had I just held my breathe until I lay on the floor silent and lifeless.
anything to prevent us from ending it like this.
I think your pretty, your laugh is priceless,
you're not gonna like this but I would rather take a knife set
and pry it into my chest to rip my heart apart than live without your companionship
I never wanted to abandon ship, I love you
please take my hand again and make me a whole man again.