DEPRESSSION

Not that I don’t care, I do but I refuse to because it’s energy
For the efforts, I have to keep motivation in expectation,
And for that I lossed my way
Not that I don’t care but that’s how I feel

Mental balances have to be stabilize
And to know that everyday life
Have our doings in surveillance
Expecting us to take part in it’s course

I let priorities flew like bird
So I could remain void and empty
Shallow instability fly away and left me alone
Not that I don’t care but that’s how I feel

To resist an interest at heart for such time I think I have
But a limited space, for the momentum I worried
For such thing may cause severe strain
That rooted my strength and left me none

Not that I don’t care but that’s how I feel
To turn away my eyes and tell the world I am unable to see
Now that I am blind
Towards the care of all things

This weakness ceased my perfect strength
And have them bound in chain and fetters
Crying to be free for several days
Not that I don’t care but that’s how I feel

To know that the only thing left alive is my soul
Which never age no matter what stage
Its eyes are open constantly, so as to see all the rage
Of this selfless body and brutal mind

All my eyes can see are senseless
What my mouth can speak is tasteless
And my mind suggest
All these things are useless

Not that I don’t care but that’s how I feel
Surprising all mutual needs with negligence
And hesitant for tomorrow’s priorities
Saying to myself I won’t do what should, or I won’t say what must

Pessimism now gain credentials
From behavioral tendencies
Which need to be straighten out, if it indulge in the abundance of encouragers
Not that I don’t care but that how I feel