Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs or a Trauma Response?
I have this need-a need to be completely independent from my parents and others. When I need financial help or can’t figure out how to do something, I feel like I should do better or that maybe I’m not trying hard enough. When I am able to do things entirely on own, I feel accomplished and proud of myself. Some might say this is simply the fourth and fifth needs in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Others might say this is a trauma response; “ultra-independence” so no one else can hurt me. I don’t believe my family would hurt me-if they haven’t in the 26 years I’ve been alive, why start now? I am terrified of entering another relationship though, although I would like to date and eventually marry somebody and maybe adopt kids.
After the first bad relationship, I said I would NEVER let anyone treat me that way again, but then I met a narcissist. I fell for the initial Prince Charming act and was then brainwashed into believing all of these terrible lies about myself and that his behavior was normal, and I was overreacting. It wasn’t until he left a bruise that I realized it was not normal and I broke up with him. I feel that I must NEVER depend on a man because of this experience.
I feel the need to be independent from my family though because I’ve heard and know of so many stories of people I went to high school with who bought their own car, paid for their own insurance, worked, and played sports when they were 16. I’ve heard stories of people who had babies at 17, moved out, worked, and completed high school. I’ve heard stories of people who went to college right after high school and paid for all of it on their own without help from their parents.
I’ve heard all of these stories and then there’s me who didn’t move out of my parent’s house until I was 24. It makes me feel spoiled, lazy, and like I somehow haven’t tried hard enough even though I’ve tried very hard and been through a lot, so call it Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a trauma response, or whatever you may wish, but independence is my need.
After the first bad relationship, I said I would NEVER let anyone treat me that way again, but then I met a narcissist. I fell for the initial Prince Charming act and was then brainwashed into believing all of these terrible lies about myself and that his behavior was normal, and I was overreacting. It wasn’t until he left a bruise that I realized it was not normal and I broke up with him. I feel that I must NEVER depend on a man because of this experience.
I feel the need to be independent from my family though because I’ve heard and know of so many stories of people I went to high school with who bought their own car, paid for their own insurance, worked, and played sports when they were 16. I’ve heard stories of people who had babies at 17, moved out, worked, and completed high school. I’ve heard stories of people who went to college right after high school and paid for all of it on their own without help from their parents.
I’ve heard all of these stories and then there’s me who didn’t move out of my parent’s house until I was 24. It makes me feel spoiled, lazy, and like I somehow haven’t tried hard enough even though I’ve tried very hard and been through a lot, so call it Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a trauma response, or whatever you may wish, but independence is my need.
Public Collections Containing This Poem
Other Poems By This Author
-
The Man Across the Street
PoetTaylor Daniels
-
Independence Day
PoetTaylor Daniels
Delete Comment
User:
Comment: