Missing - in any meaning

Resisting the pressures of past,
the most arduous duty I pursue,
I am sorry for missing myself
and sorry for missing you
in this rugged struggle.
And yet it is not too late
to deeply smile upon today.
Though, I have a firm belief,
you will remember all the past
in peace and sereneness,
time will wash all pains away
and defuse all seriousness.
You will let me joke, you will see...
And I will feel free with you.
Then pensively I will ask:
'maybe for God to miss you?'
We both will laugh at this view
with different beliefs we carry.
However, with inner confession
only I will have perceived
the severity of my question.
You will just be angry
at my 'frivolous' way
But for me hereafter
the life is not anyway
as strict as a humour.
Strict it is my poetry - my poet me
- my solace neglected by you...
You are always very near,
as unwritten letters of mine,
as untold feelings flying through.
But I cannot type anything to you
You are so cruel that
have broken my fingers also...
Just be a bit generous,
at least tell me any way
how without you to overcome
missing - in any meaning -
craving and hard losses?!