Pain

Sitting on the cold hard floor, finally it kicks in, the reality starts settling in.

Nothing to say, no one to blame, holding myself steadily rockin again

Its an illiousion think, I'm not on the brink, of loosing it all, tonight might just be the end.

This feeling is a heidious one, a venomous one constantly creeping in.

An unwelcome guest in a long white coat with a double snaked crest trying to be a friend.

Some days I feel ok, most days I'm struggling, this feeling i hide, of secretly dying inside, when will it come to an end.

A Reminiscence of a past life before it got jack knifed, before the diagnosis came burling in.

Looking into the sad eyes of the Dr has he recites the final confirmation.

Plans are made, to rehabilitate, to institutionalize, to take it away

Waking up from the cold dead floor, sweating more then ever before, where i laid there's a puddle and a horrific odor..

Please I beg of you can't this no more.