She Fades

I'm sorry. I can no longer be lost chasing your ghost.
It's not even about you anymore,its me I miss the most.
Mourning you while your still alive is pain to swallow.
The person I loved, will always haunt my shadow.
I hollowed out my heart so brokenness couldn't be seen.
I stopped filling my lungs with tears so I may breathe.
I sewed my mouth shut to always obey.
I painted a smile for you when it started to fade.
You ask me if I hate you, I say no without hesitation.
Your return filled my lungs with perfect resuscitation.
But when I missed you, its like you didn't even notice.
You had my heart in your arms and you wouldn't hold it.
I didn't ask you to save me; you were a reason I died.
And so, I wouldn't want you to be the reason I survived.