sleeplessly

I lay in bed at night sleeplessly
I lay in bed at night persistently
I lay in bed at night wishing to be someone other than me
I lay in bed at night wanting to end me completely
I lay in bed at night evidently bleeding, screaming, crying,
I lay in bed at night cutting a way at my skin and maybe then i'll win the battle that i'm in
I can't begin what its been like to to be an artist with a twist my paint brush is a blade and the canvas my wrist
The Pain from slicing my skin is nothing when compared to the pain I feel and in the end my life will end
But it begins when I lay in bed alone at night sleeplessly, persistently, configuring how to excape this pain permanently.....
Sincerely
me