The Death of a Good Girl
The Death of a Good Girl
NikkiSixxx Poston
Nobody notices the first crack.
The one that happens after she finally gets tired of being stabbed in the back.
Not when she’s still smiling.
Not when she’s still answering calls.
Not when she’s still giving second chances
To people who don’t deserve her at all.
Nobody notices the little pieces
She leaves behind every time she’s hurt.
Or sees her when she’s face down in the dirt.
The innocence, The trust.
The feeling that comes after the lust…
Those things don’t disappear all at one time,
They die slowly, like victims of a horrific crime.
One disappointment, then two,
All after she trusted you.
One broken promise, then two and three,
Many cruel words from someone she believed.
Until one day,
The girl who saw the best in everyone,
Stops looking your way.
The girl who forgave too easily,
Stops forgiving and gets slapped with reality
The girl who would move mountains just to see you smile,
Stops lifting a finger and takes you off her speed dial.
And everyone acts surprised,
They whisper, “She’s changed.”
As if they weren’t the reason her personality rearranged.
As if change happened overnight.
As if they weren’t the cause for every fight.
As if they didn’t hand her every reason.
Mad cause she switched up like a season.
You see, good girls don’t become cold
Because they want to.
They become cold because warmth became to tough to pursue.
Because every piece of kindness
Was treated like weakness.
Because every ounce of loyalty
Was taken for granted.
Because death came upon every seed she planted.
Because every time she loved,
Someone taught her to regret it.
Because every time she was hurt, she just tried to forget it.
The saddest part isn’t that she changed,
The saddest part is, what the world lost when she did.
The late-night conversations.
The endless patience.
The benefit of the doubt.
The way she’d show up without being asked.
Gone.
Not because she stopped being capable of those things,
But because she finally learned
That not everyone deserved them.
And now she walks differently.
Not bitter,
Just careful.
Not cruel,
Just unavailable to people who only appreciate goodness after they’ve lost it.
Sometimes she misses who she used to be,
The girl who loved fearlessly,
The girl who believed people.
The girl whose heart stayed open no matter what.
But that girl paid a price for existing,
A heavy one.
So she buried parts of her
To save what remained.
And the tragedy is this:
The people who helped create her walls
Will someday complain that they’re there,
The people who ignored her loyalty,
Will search for it in someone else.
The people who broke her heart,
Will wonder why she no longer has one available for them.
But by then,
The good girl they remember Won’t be gone,
She’ll simply belong to herself…
FOR THE FIRST TIME!
And that is a loss many people won’t understand… Sublime,
That is until they’re standing in the silence she left behind.
NikkiSixxx Poston
Nobody notices the first crack.
The one that happens after she finally gets tired of being stabbed in the back.
Not when she’s still smiling.
Not when she’s still answering calls.
Not when she’s still giving second chances
To people who don’t deserve her at all.
Nobody notices the little pieces
She leaves behind every time she’s hurt.
Or sees her when she’s face down in the dirt.
The innocence, The trust.
The feeling that comes after the lust…
Those things don’t disappear all at one time,
They die slowly, like victims of a horrific crime.
One disappointment, then two,
All after she trusted you.
One broken promise, then two and three,
Many cruel words from someone she believed.
Until one day,
The girl who saw the best in everyone,
Stops looking your way.
The girl who forgave too easily,
Stops forgiving and gets slapped with reality
The girl who would move mountains just to see you smile,
Stops lifting a finger and takes you off her speed dial.
And everyone acts surprised,
They whisper, “She’s changed.”
As if they weren’t the reason her personality rearranged.
As if change happened overnight.
As if they weren’t the cause for every fight.
As if they didn’t hand her every reason.
Mad cause she switched up like a season.
You see, good girls don’t become cold
Because they want to.
They become cold because warmth became to tough to pursue.
Because every piece of kindness
Was treated like weakness.
Because every ounce of loyalty
Was taken for granted.
Because death came upon every seed she planted.
Because every time she loved,
Someone taught her to regret it.
Because every time she was hurt, she just tried to forget it.
The saddest part isn’t that she changed,
The saddest part is, what the world lost when she did.
The late-night conversations.
The endless patience.
The benefit of the doubt.
The way she’d show up without being asked.
Gone.
Not because she stopped being capable of those things,
But because she finally learned
That not everyone deserved them.
And now she walks differently.
Not bitter,
Just careful.
Not cruel,
Just unavailable to people who only appreciate goodness after they’ve lost it.
Sometimes she misses who she used to be,
The girl who loved fearlessly,
The girl who believed people.
The girl whose heart stayed open no matter what.
But that girl paid a price for existing,
A heavy one.
So she buried parts of her
To save what remained.
And the tragedy is this:
The people who helped create her walls
Will someday complain that they’re there,
The people who ignored her loyalty,
Will search for it in someone else.
The people who broke her heart,
Will wonder why she no longer has one available for them.
But by then,
The good girl they remember Won’t be gone,
She’ll simply belong to herself…
FOR THE FIRST TIME!
And that is a loss many people won’t understand… Sublime,
That is until they’re standing in the silence she left behind.
Thank you