Used to Be a Swimmer

I used to be a swimmer, always in the water if not on the soccer field or attending to school activities
I did lap after lap in that Olympic-sized pool-breaststroke, back stroke, freestyle, arms only, legs only; basically, any move I could think of to propel myself through those varying depths of water
To those who knew me and did not know how to swim, I was considered a fish, but this label no longer applies
I’ve swam through the worst of hurricanes and tsunamis with record high waves that brought down entire cities and I’m tired now
Many people would’ve drowned long ago, but somehow, I managed to stay afloat
Occasionally, someone would notice I was struggling and throw a life jacket or a buoy out to me and I always managed to grab ahold of a piece of it, but this time, the current has ripped that precious floatation device out of my reach, and I’ve become too weak and tired to swim after it despite my best efforts
The water has come up over my nose and I only have the strength to push myself up for a gasp of air every few minutes now
I’m sorry, but I can’t “just keep swimming” much longer
I don’t have enough strength or energy left to go on and it’s honestly just too painful, so whenever I drown, please don’t blame yourself
Don’t cry over my absence
You did everything you could and I did the same, but sometimes it’s just not enough