When I come back into the sane...

I stand on a bank of the river that wasn't used to be,
only to feel my mind swing into my past and
experience the beautiful sunrise behind the line of
trees, whose existence is no longer real.
I find myself hurled in to the world, which I
experienced as a child- caressed by all and untouched
by the Satan. That world has shrunken into me, as I
walk along the bank to touch the holy land and to
feel the distance.
I now weep standing there as I could not help my
old and ailing father- an old man I could once leave
everything for. And my mother expecting me to
show up as I once did long ago.
I could not come back into the bloody sane then
only to lose my valuables and to sit on the holy shit
of the garbage mound.
I never understood that a mirage only lures and that a
fountain is nevertheless a source for rebirth of a
person like me who predicts future when it's a past.
I lost my world to the Satan which once could not lure
me and did not understand why everything in the world
is so bleak.
Time, nothing and nobody now has courage to stop me
as I cross into oblivion- only to see my whole world
seeping in again, with my parents still waiting for me!