Blunders

All my life I have fumbled, uncertain, and confused.
My heart has had many loves, though they were all fictional.
I have been lost for a long time, unable to feel alright.
I have cried in the night ashamed of the wasted potential inside of me.
My light is shining brightly dim waiting to be released.
All these blunders have broken my resolve.

I don't know if I carry on the way I have.
I just float around unsure how this world will end.
Paralyzed by the fear of being misunderstood.
I can't help it if I drown, even on dry ground.
All these blunders weigh me down as my world spins round and round.
Where is my life going?

Why have I wasted all my beautiful potential on things that don't matter?
Why can't I just write, and let my fear of judgment go?
Why don't I feel like I'm good enough?
Why am I afraid to bloom into the beautiful woman I came to become?
Why have I made so many blunders and screwed myself out of opportunities for growth?

I want to love someone, but I am afraid.
I want intimacy, but I am paralyzed with anxiety.
I want to sing the song that is on my lips, but my voice is stuck in my throat.
I want a warm, comforting, and spacious home, but my inability to put myself out there drowns me.
I want a steady income, but my courage is dwindling the more I stay inside.
I want a whole life that is solely mine, but I am trapped in my mind.

All these blunders haven't gotten me anywhere.
I want more and I want to soar.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
All these blunders, and I can't be courageous enough to save my life.
If only I had a friend like Clark Kent.
He'd know what to do and what to say to me.

I got to find my inner strength.
I know I am stronger than I realize.
I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
I've made too many blunders to be sane.
Now it's time I take reigns and exert some control in life.

For now, I shall stop making so many blunders.
I have let my fears go.
I got to keep my anxiety at bay.
I should allow myself to just write unburdened by the pain of self-questioning.
Above all I have to learn to live the life I have and stop wasting my potential.