Cupid's Wings

Cupid's Wings

To separate pain and separate purpose keep, if i weep, just silent solitary weep.
Is my heart a heart or merely clock to mark, time apart, time spent in the dark?

Separate work and separate joys unfold, loving word some said some left untold.
Keep to himself he needn't see the daily pain arising, forcing free.

Just be happy and yes patient stay, as the perfect lover keeps away.
What's to do and how heart can distract itself from love that's quiet in react?

Busy heart in other things, flights of fancy, pulling off mean cupid's wings!
Dream that loves enough to save us soon, or go mad looking at the moon.

Nowhere to hide and nothing to undo, there's no cure for longing or for loving you.
Pleading, cooing, teasing -- makes no way, into a heart that closed and meant to stay.

Suffering in silence longing, crying hurting more.
Shouting anger makes no change, what is it all for?

Alone and lonely - yet the lover lives! No warm shoulder, walls he gives.
In the madness of this love I fear, I will grow to hold the madness near and dear.

It will hold me when my lover stalls, and rock me sweetly when the peace of sleep calls.

Maybe someday he will know the turn he took, and turning learned nothing from our Lion book. He turned the page on love without a second look.

Will we have 30 years again to mourn another past, of love that never was meant to last.
Star crossed yet lingers and too frail to pay, for love that burns and injures everyday?

You rather be alone! I cannot see how this and love together can ever be.
I think we each plot and design, a different definition -- and resign.

Love for you is words and action less, and love for me would be a happy active mess.

Tumble in the weeds as well as seas, a love like this is an insanity - a vanity.
A love all chat and later and maybe, and just ignores the beating heart and love in me.

So leave my love alone to put his mind, in other places leaving me to think him just unkind.

And when I for sake of peace and all --
decide to join him, and also build the wall,

and leave him in his peace and pain he loves so far above.
anything I offer, anything that I insult him with a call of love.

Affront to want him, want his lips his voice his hand --
injury to ask him where I stand!

Mistake to tell him what I feel and think, crime to cry and crime to blink.
In the end I join him after-all,inside a wall

of pain and sadness, dark and cold,
and lose my taste as well for love I once held bold.

I tire of the asking him to see,
that there is beauty in the world and inside me.

That just a little kindness would mean
that I was seen.

Too late I came to ask too much of one, who suffers much and life has left undone.
whose heart I seek to win; a heart that can't be won.

In this war I was loser at the start, and realizing chills my bones and soul and heart.
Never do I want to feel this way, that keeps me frozen pained each day.

Why did he bother coming not halfway, and keeping me still so far away/
He was right, as he tried so to let me go --but I in foolishness said no.

For my leaving he will say, he told me so. And I will answer only
that I know.