Dont Learn

Learn to type your name on my keyboard
While the buttons remained razor blade sharp
Watch as your fingers scar, bleed and bruise, just as my thighs did.
Swallow your pride and hide them. If one happens to slip out, know how to lie about them.
And as they ask why or how or when, build on that line until it forms its own castle in your mind
Because in between the surgery scars and the cat scratches lie drawings of my own design.
Actually, ignore my first text.
Don't learn.
Because if you learn, you might actually do it
And if you actually do it, you have to succumb to it and admit that
Somewhere lying in the pain is a warmth and comfort you can't find elsewhere.
Don’t learn
Don’t know
Don’t see
Don’t understand
Cause’ expressing the thoughts in my head leads to a conclusion no one wants to see
The kind of conclusion they warn you against