Feeling Alone

I tell myself go back to school,

Be all you can be

Spend a year all kinds of broke

Just to go far enough to believe,

The one year ended,

I passed yay me.

But then it all went crazy,

Want to know, Have a seat.

After four interviews,

A job was offered.

Seemed like a great place to start.

Said I wanted to commit myself,

Three years sounded good.

Full time work with benefits and retirement,

Be a fool not to accept.

Signed the papers and began work,

Time flew like a bird,

Orientation for 90 days,

Nah, let's make it 60.

So, decided to cover others call

Others shifts when they need off.

Made myself so exhausted,

Way past wore out.

Here I am at six months in,

And what do I have to show.

I show dedication,

throughout my days at work.

The favor of coverage, does it get paid back?

No, it gets forgot.

I go on and on through the many days,

With the feeling of wonder.

Wonder of why,

Why am I so nice, so dedicated?

Well now we are here at present day,

A day like all others.

But this day it became clear,

The whispering, the looks.

I see it all around me,

From people I thought were friends.

Nice to you face to face when they want something,

But let the wheels turn.

Now I need help, and, where are you?

I call your name and your nowhere near,

Hurry now the doctor is waiting, they say,

But I just got started and need help.

I try to organize but I just keep getting more and more.

You say the doctor is ready, but I received no help,

I can't possibly be ready for him,

What's he need, what's he want?

Can someone tell me that?

I'm doing the best I can,

Although I am struggling.

You want to give me lunch?

Sorry about this back table,

I could have used some help.

It's okay you say, just go eat.

So, I scarf down some lunch,

And cut my break short.

I rush back to the room,

And as I walk back through the door

I catch the doctor giving me a dirty look,

He thinks I don’t hear him

But clear as day he say's

What is he doing back in here?

I gladly leave the room,

And report to the front desk,

Was instructed to go help clean rooms.

Since they were finished with their cases.

Each one I walk into,

All eyes land on me.

The whispering starts up again,

What did I do, did I say something wrong?

I ask for help and I'm avoided like the atomic plague,

I run my butt off all day to help make your job easier,

And in return, no thanks I get,

But instead, the cold shoulder.

You once said I have a friend in you,

But now I see it was followed by a request.

So here me now the answer is NO,

I have other plans,

You're on your own.

So now the day is over,

I make it home at last.

My friends back home I miss,

But they never contact me first.

I never hear from you unless I pick up the phone,

Do I call? Do I text?

Do I even bother at all?

As I now sit here and ponder,

And the tears roll down my face.

All these years when people say,

Were friends forever, do hesitate to call.

How many lies was I told,

I move two hours away and never hear from you,

But yet, were friends forever,

And yet, I feel all alone.

Its days like today

Where a friend I have none.

I sit here and cry,

Wishing, hoping, praying for good.

I do good for others and close to none done for me,

But I guess I will have to move on,

Go to work, face them all,

Come home and hide in my cubby.

Where I am out of site out of mind.

You haven't called, nor texted, nor emailed,

I suppose you have moved on,

I may move away but your still in my heart,

Why do you not contact me I may never know?

But one thing is true enough,

You may have all those I once did,

But see it through my eyes now,

I'm all ALONE!!!!