Go My Distance

Swing me around the ballroom of our kitchen.
Wrap your arms around my waist.
Only I can feel how you warm up.
I am but a witness to the redness on your cheeks.
A ballgown may be too much to hold so instead I ask for you to hold on to the hem of my sweatpants,
The sleeves on my sweater.
I lie awake dreaming of what we could be only to be awoken by the sheer cut of reality.
None of it’s real,
You’re not here.
Rather than laying in your arms.
In your warmth.
I am a bystander to the lags and glitches of a camera.
You touched me once months ago.
But as you left I was mentally begging you to come touch me again.
Leave your fingerprints on my face so
Next time,
When you return,
I will remember what it felt like.
Not drained and worn out of chasing the memory how it felt once a few months back.
Memories trickle in with everything I do.
But that’s just it.
That’s the problem.
All I have is memories.
Memories.
Memories and patience.
What else can I have waiting for you to return back to me?
My days have been stripped and drained of colour.
My mind is racing through thousands of thoughts
What if he does
What if he doesn’t
I am deteriorating in my own flesh.
Please,
Return to me soon.
But until that is a possibility,
Your phone is ringing darling.