HOW DO I TELL YOU

How do I tell you that even as I stand
My feet are unsteady and the ground threatens to cave under me.
I fear my worries are mundane, how they pale to yours
Words won't do them justice,
I can't find the right ones so I won't try
You say I'm not the most unlucky, it!s no curse or spell,
It the same for everyone, you just don't know till you're told,
But mine is all I know
And from where I stand, it's all I see.
You want to take the pain away,
so do I if it were a matter of will
But I think I've used it all.
The things you said were helpful
I'm not there yet, it's still a process
I hide the hurt witha cheerful face in front of you,
I wear the mask so you won't see
I'll hate to make you feel your efforts are in vain
How do I tell you?,
That I don't see the beautiful picture
You often try to paint for me,
That it's wasted on me because I'm too jaded.