I'd Rather Stay

I wanna be free from my own demise
It's taken me way too long to realize
To see clearly through my own eyes
Even though that what I think I think is hard to rationalize
Sometimes I think I need to be hospitalized
Because I think I've gone crazy
Due to my perspective on my own reality
But no one would be willing to cure me
Because they enjoy what they see
And what they see isn't pure
Because what they experience is pure torture
I'm done with killing myself slowly
I'm done waiting around
Being pulled down by gravity gradually
I need my life to start
But don't know if I'd even have the heart
To give up on you completely
Maybe just this once I can live life fully
And not be tied to the ground that I despise entirely
I need to leave
There's so much death here, and too much to grieve
You're not holding me down
I'm the one that chose to drown
But don't worry, babe, when the time is right
I will definitely be consumed by what I assumed was your light
No matter what I write it becomes about you
And that's okay, because it's what I chose to do
I wouldn't have it any other way
You can also have your say
But if I had it my way, I'd rather stay