If you really heard me

If You Ever Really Heard Me

This is my voice
the one you never stay still long enough to hear,
the one you talk over,
roll your eyes at,
walk away from
when the truth gets too close.

But if you ever really listened
if you ever let my words land
instead of turning them into a fight
you’d feel the weight I’ve been carrying
just trying to love you right.

I believed you when you said
“I love you, there’s no one else,”
but the lies you call “little”
cut deeper than you tell yourself.
Because every time I caught you,
you didn’t hold me,
you didn’t soften,
you didn’t say, “Baby, I’m sorry.”
You got mad.
You rolled your eyes.
You watched me cry
like my tears were an inconvenience
instead of a sign
that I was breaking inside.

Do you know what that does to a woman
who loves you with her whole soul?
It crushes her.
It hollows her out.
It makes her question her worth
in places she never doubted before.

You turned my pain into arguments,
my tears into accusations,
my heartbreak into something
you felt attacked by
instead of something
you caused.

And I stayed.
God, I stayed.
Not because I’m weak,
but because I believed in the man
you could be
if you ever stopped running
from the truth.

If you ever really heard me
not the version of me you defend yourself against,
but the woman standing in front of you
with shaking hands
and a heart that still chooses you—
you’d feel every crack you put in me.

You’d feel the nights I sat alone
trying to convince myself
that honesty shouldn’t be this hard.
You’d feel the way my chest tightens
when you look annoyed
instead of concerned.
You’d feel the way my spirit sinks
when you turn cold
instead of comforting.

If you ever really heard me,
your heart would melt
under the truth of what you’ve done.
You’d understand
that I wasn’t trying to fight you
I was trying to reach you.
I wasn’t trying to accuse you
I was trying to save us.
I wasn’t trying to break you
I was breaking
because of you.

And if you ever truly felt that
felt me
you’d never roll your eyes again.
You’d never let me cry alone.
You’d never turn my hurt
into a battlefield
just to protect your pride.

Because a man who really hears
the woman who loves him
either changes…