Inside My Head

I sit here and contemplate what's going on inside my head. An itemized list of Do this and Do thats. An Obnoxious voice screaming "get your ass together, you're fine". A sharp pain that may also be in my chest but my mind likes to play tricks. So many words and emotions, wait, let me pause. I actually use to be good at this. Bad. I feel all sorts of bad. Bad for me, bad for you, bad for them. That feeling you get when you havnt ate in days and your stomach yells at you. That feeling when you have random thoughts of death crawling so soon towards the ones that love you. All the time breathing, I'm suffocating too. For over a year. That's what goes on within my head. And what's worse is its all my fault. I let loss and pain and others mind games twist and change me. I hurt people because pain is all I know. I deserve to be alone. But all the voices of me scream all day. I will never be alone. So if anyone wants to know what is in my head that's it. It's all me inside my head. Can't sleep but atleast I'll be freed by death. And I'm sorry for the time wasted for this to be read. _ Tay