Looking Back

Staring off into some lost notion a fog or a haze
I can't break from my sadness as my eyes start to glaze

I feel nothing yet I feel all, then there's a bolt shot through me
Now as if some punished child I begin to feel ever so small

When did I become so numb to every bit of this that I sat and allowed
The fire to build so thick within it's a black dusty awful cloud

Rain could not extinguish the rage from within me now or ever
Until my last breath it's time for me to move on , no it's better

Convincing myself it's what needs to be done for my own good
Suffering all along from what if's , how can I or if I even should

One day I'll look back at this and think why did I wait so long for this
Not even wincing for him and never to miss, only happiness and bliss