Nxy

It's funny, I always find myself running away,


When things get tough and my demons get a little too loud you'll always find me cowering like a stray.


Though the life I've lived has given me a hardened shell,


I always end up leaving those who treat me too well.


Every step I take up is two steps down,


The water is up to my knees and I fear I may drown. 


I fear I only may repent in the blood of my own,


To fix what was lost and sow what was shown.


To kill the Sea of knowledge for what I have done,


And carry the burden of all my lost loved ones.


I do wish it never ended this way,


But I did this for you so do not downplay.


I killed a weak girl who only wanted to know 


What it was like to not reload ammo.


And for that I must carry her within my mind,


And hope one day I too will flatline.


Until then I will search for everything she could not find.