Overdose

It all started with a handful of pills in middle school
As time went on the doses increased
It began with 10 and that brought on a numbness that greeted me with open arms
Then it was 17 and it brought on a numbness that had a friend
This friend was darkness, it held me close like lover.
A lover that would be in and out of my life
Then it was 20, the numbness and darkness became stronger. They held me in a suffocating embrace
Then it was 25, they began to drag me in a deep sleep.
One that I woke from
Then it was 27, because I was a coward.
I was afraid of the temporary numbness and darkness that I may feel if I took more.
I was afraid of the commitment.
It does not change the fact that I still long for them.
They had become lovers and dear friends. Who could not stay.