Seven Minute Movie

I’m lying in bittersweet acceptance
I didn’t mean it, but it wasn’t an accident either
The shivers start to die down and I relax into it
They told me I’d feel nothing.
I feel everything.

As I breathe in flowers I run my hands through a cold stream
The water feels off, but I still enjoy it as I fish with my dad
Once again, my memory comforts me.

Now I’m tasting the nectar from a honey suckle, the one from my favorite friend’s backyard,
It’s sour. Not sweet.
Once again, my memory confuses me.

I walk through my hometown with my Opi and Oma, we stop at a bakery and I order pretzel bread and salami,
That’s wrong. I ordered chocolate cake my Opi had ordered pretzel bread and salami.
Once again, my memory conflicts me.

I’m hugging my mom.
She’s hugging me back.
Or was it the other way?
Did we ever hug each other?
Who is this woman I see?
Who am I?
For the last time, my memory fails me.

Then the seventh minute is up, my heart long since stopped, my brain just wanted to comfort me.
But even in death am I unable to rest, for I am reminded that I cannot remember what I’ve done.
Was I something to someone, to myself?
If I can’t even remember myself, then will anyone ever truly know me?