The Golden Sun Rises and Melts the Snow
The golden sun rises and melts the snow.The blood of the land reflects in the sky,
But the waves on the beach wash away memories to and fro.
Into the darkness the samurai must go.
The glint of the sword is seen in the eye.
The golden sun rises and melts the snow.
The fire in the heart is the only glow.
Only in the mind do they dare to cry,
But the waves on the beach wash away memories to and fro.
In the tall grass they become hidden by laying low,
Stepping over bodies, on the ground where they lie.
The golden sun rises and melts the snow.
Their fates they will never know,
Fighting in a battle and still do not know why,
But the waves on the beach wash away memories to and fro.
Life and soul they are forced to sew,
With the unnamed graves unable to say good bye.
The golden sun rises and melts the snow,
But the waves on the beach wash away memories to and fro.
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Winston Mayo is a freelance writer, poet and beginner novelist who draws his writing talents from his faith. His is an active Christian who acknowledges the gift God has given him by glorifying Jesus with his works. On his YouTube channel, "The Blessing Report," he showcases spoken word poetry pieces, stand-up comedy performances and honest sermons about having fun as a young adult Christian. He also spends his time making memes on his Instagram page: @the_blessing_report with #theblessingreport. He is currently working on his first novel, Searching for Land. Currently, he lives in the suburbs of Atlanta in Marietta, GA, but frequently goes to the city. He credits much of writing material to the converging ideologies that make up his thinking: being a male African-American college graduate in his twenties and raised in the South.
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The Golden Sun Rises and Melts the Snow
PoetWinston Mayo
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The Golden Sun Rises and Melts the Snow
PoetWinston Mayo
Complex rhyming pattern, one that is not very commonly used. Beautifully written homage. Second to last sheds light on a hidden theme throughout military history (especially imperialist history) that was also highlighted in Vietnam by a lot of college protests and songs during the time (for example, "Goodnight Saigon" by Billy Joel.
Complex rhyming pattern, one that is not very commonly used. Beautifully written homage. Second to last sheds light on a hidden theme throughout military history (especially imperialist history) that was also highlighted in Vietnam by a lot of college protests and songs during the time (for example, "Goodnight Saigon" by Billy Joel.
The repetition in this poem is mesmerizing.
i love the way it flows even with the complex rhyming pattern
Incredible. Great use of raw emotion, alongside a captivating use of rhyme. Really enjoyed ready this one!
I loved the poem, but it took me a second to really take it in.
Good
Unique style
This flows very nicely
That flows nicely and the motions it conveys is good to
Very unique and incredible! Keep on writing
i wish my poems was as good this is amazing.
The rhyming scheme in this poem is impeccable! Your skills are outstanding and I truly felt like I was there in the poem watching the battle, standing in the melting snow and feeling the warm sun on my face.
I really liked it
Beautiful
love the rhyme
I want to say that you did A fine job writing you poem Please continue to write more poems
Formidable use of repetition :)
Nicely done, it took me a second to catch up ,and I did and enjoyed it .thank you
I like the repetition in this! Great use of imagery. Good work
The rhyme scheme is not complex or never-before-seen as some commenters have suggested. The pattern is aba, aba, aba, and so on. Only the last stanza is slightly different: abaa just to close properly. Winston employs a lot of vivid imagery throughout, which I believe is the poem's biggest asset. However, the first line of stanzas 4 and 5 are rather baffling to me, because they fall short of the established meter of the other first lines. While that of stanza 4 is a little longer, that of stanza 5 is a little shorter. I can only imagine Winston's struggles to both keep the rhymed pattern and also keep the storyline, which is tough to do. That is why I'm rating this poem with 3 stars.
Born to be poet... Perfect job! Congrats!
Although it sometimes doesn't flow perfectly, I love the villanelle structure you chose to go with! Definitely a 4/5 stars. (:
Its interesting
While the flow isn't always great, the imagery more than makes up for it. I think this poem very nicely casts light on a side of history that we don't often look at, and does so in a fairly unique, engaging way. 4/5
If you haven't, other readers, go back through the poem and read just the second line of every stanza, it tells a story all by itself. Your ability to use a rare structure, and write a story within a poem was pleasant and surprising. I liked it very much!
I love the repetition!
"The Golden Sun Rises and Melts the Snow" is a well-crafted poem with strong imagery and a poignant message about the enduring consequences of war. While some aspects could be further developed, it effectively conveys a sense of loss, futility, and the cyclical nature of life and death. The poem effectively uses vivid imagery, particularly with phrases like "blood of the land reflects in the sky," "glint of the sword is seen in the eye," and "fire in the heart is the only glow." These images create a sense of both beauty and violence, reflecting the contrasting themes.
Wowww...a wonderful oneee...
I enjoyed the imagery of waves on a beach washing things away and the sun melting the snow. Both can be shortlived, even more so than a human life.
Such a complex rhyming pattern, very rare and unique. I really like how your poem gives me an immersive feel as if i was sitting by the beach in the winter season. Such an immersive poem, really great read.
Quite a vivid poem. I particularly like the repeating "waves on a beach washing away..."
Really beautiful
Very nice
I love how history is woven into this poem and the comparison of melting snow, rearranging beach and the soldiers purpose is very poignant.
Love the complex rhyme scheme of the poem. It has a very lucid dream like feel to it. Love this poem.
The rhythmic tone in this piece is so well done. Good Job bro!
True poetry right here. Me and my wife love reading your work!!!
Beautiful imagery, but found it a bit too repetitive. Otherwise great work
CHANGE THIS POEM RIGHT NOW!!! Change the first line that repeats into "Does the sun rise and melt the snow" ///PLEASE!!!
** Does the GOLDEN sun rise and melt the snow!!!
abaabaabaabaa is not complex it's a simple flow schematic and had no syllable control or even much depth in the use of repetition. Redundancy is beautiful if it embraces change through context. That will add flavor to meaning.
This is such a beautiful idea. I love the last line. Great job.
As I read this I could visually see the waves crashing the beach ebbing and flowing as soldiers stormed the beaches of Iwo Jima and the battles fought in Europe during WWII, as the sun melted the snow. Nicely penned!
"The blood of the land reflects in the sky"--good imagery!
Caught my eye!
I did read the 2nd line in each stanza and agree the story of war in my opinion is really overshadowed with emotion and loud responses. I feel the subtle way in which he plays with this idea and at the end shows the abrupt silence it brings. War is what I mean being brought. Great job
I did read the 2nd line in each stanza and agree the story of war in my opinion is really overshadowed with emotion and loud responses. I feel the subtle way in which he plays with this idea and at the end shows the abrupt silence it brings. War is what I mean being brought. Great job
Like the rhythm
I love the atmosphere you’ve created. The recurring lines are memorable, though I personally felt they appeared a bit frequently. Even a slight reduction might let the rest of the poem shine even more.
love everything about this!!!!
Sorry I love your poem so much.. your a beautiful poetic soul
Beautiful uncommon flow of rhythm & rhyme. Vivid details & imagery Unique Creative expression
Nice
Nice flow!
The rhyme scheme was enjoyable and the theme is well communicated. The repetition goes a long way to strengthen the poem. In my opinion the meter should be a little tighter and more uniform, having a consistent number of syllables to match the repeated lines would go a long way increase the cohesiveness. A good poem none the less.
I like your poem I thought it was really good very enjoyable
I can really see my childhood and what i miss now.. Beatifull
very refreshing to see a structured and punctuated poem lol
I agree with the others complex, but I liked it
This is just sooo cool. Nice work
the story behind this is an interesting one with a clear message and then the rhymes though may not flow but it still accurate within the stanza