The Truth "Fake News!" about Cats and Dogs

The dogs used to be our best online friends;
Now they foam at the mouth, ranting and mad.
Cats have their own unpredictable ends
And don’t finish poop-tweets with the word, “Sad!”
The dogs salivate to Pavlov’s smartphone,
Like Dopamine Pinschers, chasing their tails;
Cats use the same narcissistic hormone
To spray-paint pianos in YouTube fails.
The dogs are rewrites of History’s page,
By algorithm domesticated;
Cats modify the Information Age,
Neutering networks bigly outdated.
And Schrödinger’s Cat—Alive or a bot?—
Thinks outside the Walls of Zuckerberg’s box.