A Night in Guarded Armour

You touch me
And my breathing stops
My heart beat picks up

You pull me towards you
Look me in the eye as you kiss my skin

My mind is silent
Dead
Empty
Screaming
My mouth stitched closed to match your ears

It’s been months and I still feel
I still feel your hand on my throat
My eyes not wanting to watch but unable to look away

It’s been months and I still feel you on me
But your face
Your face is slipping

So how will I know?
How will I know if the boy I see is the one to fear?
I can’t
So I just avoid them all

To protect myself
The way I didn’t then