Modus Operandum

Every time I think of you,
There's a holy cloud around you.
Light and fog and song.
You look like a model,
You feel like every childhood memory I've forgotten,
The ones I wish I could have back.
You joke like if the world ended tomorrow,
You could lie back,
Take a breath,
And die a happy man from the life you have lived.
I feel as if I've seen inside.
Seen the person you are,
What you could become,
And I haven't shyed away.
But I also remember.
I remember the way you lied,
Lied about something I'd never forgive anyone for.
But,
For some reason,
Call it loneliness,
Or stupidity.
When the nights are long,
And the music too quiet,
I think of you.
You're wonderful,
Calming,
I can be myself when you're around.
You're the speck of sun that parts the clouds,
But I know how you can lie, steal,
Cheat.
Maybe that's human, though.
Perhaps we're all built to betray those we don't want,
For someone we do.
Maybe I'm a blubbering idiot,
Someone who should use my sense.
The one that tells me to turn away.
Maybe we could give it a shot.
The real question is,
Why could I forgive you,
Above everyone else,
And why should I?