On Writing

Don’t ask to read my writing because I don't want it to break your heart.
Don't analyze it or break it into all its parts;
it’s meant to be whole unlike our hearts.
When you tell me my words are sad and hit like a punch,
I will tell you I know because I am writing from my gut.
This is how I feel and how I see the world.
Don't read my writing and say I’m not like other girls.

I write for relief and inner peace.
Not for approval or praise in the least.
I write because I cannot say what I feel, and sometimes I feel that life isn't real.
I’m like a ghost writing in ominous, melancholy lines,
floating around, passing the time.

I write because I’m scared.
I write because I can't scream or cry or die.
I write because I find comfort in making rhymes.
I write because if I don’t, the monsters caged beneath my skin
will eat me from the inside out
and I will be nothing more than gnawed bones.
The monsters beg me to keep writing, keep writing,
and I keep fighting,
but the monsters always fucking win.