Two Out of Billions

The room is loud
Very different from what I like
It's crowded
Smells like worry incarnate
But still I try to smile
Telling myself it's all in the image
I overhear someone telling a story
I realize it's someone in my group
Someone I'm allowed to talk to,
Says the everchanging, mind-boggling, head-spinning social rulebook
Something someone says reminds me of a story
It's funny, and I almost laugh just thinking about it
I can't be vulnerable and I can't be hostile
So I have to be funny
"They'll like this" I think
I wait patiently for my turn
Worry building in my chest that my moment will pass
Long before what I have to say is relevant still
But interrupting is rude
I have to wait for a break in the talking
The constant, unstoppable stream of talking
I hear a break, so I try to cut in
I'm cut off almost instantly
I try again--- the same thing happens
Two tries out of billions in my life
Where I was cut off
Finally, I get to start telling my story
Slowly, mouths start moving again
Eyes turn away from me
My smile fades and my voice tapers
As I realize no one's listening
No one cares
That's when I spot two eyes
Two eyes out of billions in the world
Watching me expectantly
"Well? What then?" he asks
I grin and keep talking
That's all it took before the world spun away
Before those other people and the loud room
Became background noise
And I don't wonder if people are jealous
If they hear me and the boy laughing and talking
If they suddenly want to know what my story is about
Because I'm there with someone who cared from the start
Two out of billions of people in the world
But it feels like we're the only ones who exist